By ELIZABETH ESTHER

A webcam is not only a powerful communication tool, it’s also a potentially deadly weapon. When wielded as an instrument of personal destruction, a webcam is the nuclear weapon of modern bully warfare. And when used in conjunction with social media, the soul-crushing humiliation of cyber-bullying can be fatal.

Tyler Clementi was among four young men who committed suicide last month after being bullied. And in Tyler’s case, the bullying was particularly cruel — his private, romantic tryst streamed live over the Internet. What I want to know is: how many more children must die before we, as parents and as a society, take seriously the dangers of bullying?

In the wake of Tyler’s death, efforts to curb cyber-bullying seem like meager, farcical attempts at containing the roaring beast that is online harrassment. The reality is that a cyber-bully has near unlimited power: the ability to broadcast cruelty to everyone with an Internet connection. That’s an astonishing scope of damage. And because the potential for damage is so vast, something equally powerful must be done to stop this from happening again. But what can be done?

I don’t know that we’ll never be able to eliminate all bullies. Even if the laws catch up to the rapidly advancing technology (and thankfully, at least 45 states have signed anti-bullying laws), bullies will thrive wherever there are apathetic bystanders. Evil happens when good people remain silent. And I do believe the majority of kids are good-hearted. We need to find a way to encourage them to stand up when they see someone being bullied or harassed. Is that too much to ask?

If there were less kids laughing at the bully’s jokes, egging the bully on and generally not speaking up for what’s right, would this be less of a problem? I think so. Sometimes all it takes is for one or two bystanders to speak up and say: “No. Stop. That’s not funny.” Silence is complicity and since most bullies are cowards anyway, they’re betting on everyone else to act cowardly, too.

Certainly there is a social cost to speaking up and it makes me wonder if that’s a price many young people aren’t willing to pay. Are they afraid that speaking up will make them a target? Is speaking up on behalf of the defenseless considered uncool? Perhaps this is why parents should be willing to support and intervene in bullying situations. Our kids need to know they’re not alone. If we, as parents, aren’t ready to exercise courage, how can we expect our children to act courageously?

I realize it’s rather unpopular for parents to intervene on their child’s behalf. I’ve heard the research about educating children to solve their own problems. But I think there comes a point when parents should step in. When a bully has targeted a particular child, it’s my job to step in. Otherwise, I’m subjecting my child to a Lord of the Flies environment. The only thing bullies respect is an authority figure bigger and stronger than they are. I don’t like confrontation, but when my child’s safety is in danger, it’s my responsibility to overcome my discomfort and defend my child — and other vulnerable children, too.

However, I can’t do this job alone. I do hope the law will continue to catch up to technology. I say it’s high-time the law considered cyber-bullying a serious crime. But I also firmly believe it’s each parent’s responsibility to be proactive in their children’s lives and social circles.

As a parent, I want to be brave enough to speak up in defense of vulnerable children in my kids’ schools. I urge you to do the same.