Bully Prevention

Depressed kids may become targets for bullies, a new study finds.

By Maia Szalavitz

Children who are ostracized by their peers and bullied often become depressed, but new research suggests that the relationship may work the other way around as well: children’s depressive symptoms in elementary school precede social victimization and isolation later on.

Previous studies that tried to work out whether bullying causes depression, or whether depressed kids become magnets for bullies — or whether the two problems drive each other — have produced conflicting results. However, the new study found a clear path from depressive symptoms in 4th grade to being bullied in 5th grade and rejected more widely by peers in 6th.

Researchers followed 486 children, gauging their symptoms of depression and their levels of social acceptance through confidential surveys filled out by parents, teachers and the kids themselves; the children rated themselves and their classmates. Most of the students were white, 16% were African American and 4% of Hispanic or mixed race. Half were from upper-middle-class or high-income families, a quarter were in the middle class and the rest were low income.

While children with symptoms of depression in 4th grade became prone to peer victimization later, the researchers found that being bullied earlier didn’t increase children’s risk of depression in later grades. The children with the highest levels of depressive symptoms in 4th grade were more likely to be bullied by 5th grade.

Children who show symptoms of depression — having low energy, social withdrawal, passive behavior, excessive crying, and having an obsessive, negative self-focus — may first be rejected by peers and then targeted by bullies.

Indeed, the findings jibe with some evolutionary theories about depression, which note that the posture and behaviors associated with depression are almost identical to the submission signals used by low status animals in hierarchical species. Bullying, meanwhile, looks similar to some of the dominance behaviors of high-ranking animals.

Therefore, the thinking goes, children with depression are not only less likable to others, but they are also visibly marked as having low status. That attracts the attention of bullies who like to prey on weaker victims who won’t fight back. It also leads other children who might previously have liked them, or at least tolerated them, to become afraid to associate with them too, because they don’t want to attract the bullies’ attention themselves and because being linked with low-status peers may reduce their own social standing.

So by 6th grade, not only are the depressed children more likely to be bullied, they’re also more likely to be rejected by the rest of their peer group. However, this effect was less strong than the connection between 4th-grade depression and 5th-grade bullying.

The authors write that the “findings suggest that depressive symptoms not only exert [immediate] adverse effects…but also interfere with the developmental maturation of relationships in ways that create longer term social difficulties.”

The researchers also note that the pathway from depression to bullying may run the other way in older grades. As socializing becomes more important in the teen years, vulnerable kids who experience social difficulties like bullying and rejection may become more likely to develop depression, or if they were previously depressed, their social problems may exacerbate their symptoms.

The authors conclude:

Even subclinical levels of depressive symptoms can undermine development of peer relationships and…intervention efforts should be aimed at minimizing the adverse influence of depressive symptoms and associated deficits on these relationships.

Teaching children to be kinder to those who are already feeling low might also be something to consider.

The study was published in Child Development.

Know the facts about bullying, even if you don’t think it affects your child.

by Parents Raising Readers and Learners

Unfortunately, teasing is often part of growing up — almost every child experiences it. But it isn’t always as innocuous as it seems. Words can cause pain. Teasing becomes bullying when it is repetitive or when there is a conscious intent to hurt another child. It can be verbal bullying (making threats, name-calling), psychological bullying (excluding children, spreading rumors), or physical bullying (hitting, pushing, taking a child’s possessions).

How Bullying Starts

Bullying behavior is prevalent throughout the world and it cuts across socio-economic, racial/ethnic, and cultural lines. Researchers estimate that 20 to 30 percent of school-age children are involved in bullying incidents, as either perpetrators or victims. Bullying can begin as early as preschool and intensify during transitional stages, such as starting school in 1st grade or going into middle school.

Victims of bullying are often shy and tend to be physically weaker than their peers. They may also have low self-esteem and poor social skills, which makes it hard for them to stand up for themselves. Bullies consider these children safe targets because they usually don’t retaliate.

Effects of Bullying

If your child is the victim of bullying, he may suffer physically and emotionally, and his schoolwork will likely show it. Grades drop because, instead of listening to the teacher, kids are wondering what they did wrong and whether anyone will sit with them at lunch. If bullying persists, they may be afraid to go to school. Problems with low self-esteem and depression can last into adulthood and interfere with personal and professional lives.

Bullies are affected too, even into adulthood; they may have difficulty forming positive relationships. They are more apt to use tobacco and alcohol, and to be abusive spouses. Some studies have even found a correlation with later criminal activities.

Warning Signs

If you’re concerned that your child is a victim of teasing or bullying, look for these signs of stress:

• Increased passivity or withdrawal
• Frequent crying
• Recurrent complaints of physical symptoms such as stomach-aches or headaches with no apparent cause
• Unexplained bruises
• Sudden drop in grades or other learning problems
• Not wanting to go to school
• Significant changes in social life — suddenly no one is calling or extending invitations
• Sudden change in the way your child talks — calling herself a loser, or a former friend a jerk

How to Help 

First, give your child space to talk. If she recounts incidences of teasing or bullying, be empathetic. If your child has trouble verbalizing her feelings, read a story about children being teased or bullied. You can also use puppets, dolls, or stuffed animals to encourage a young child to act out problems.

Once you’ve opened the door, help your child begin to problem-solve. Role-play situations and teach your child ways to respond. You might also need to help your child find a way to move on by encouraging her to reach out and make new friends. She might join teams and school clubs to widen her circle.

At home and on the playground:

Adults need to intervene to help children resolve bullying issues, but calling another parent directly can be tricky unless he or she is a close friend. It is easy to find yourself in a “he said/she said” argument. Try to find an intermediary: even if the bullying occurs outside of school, a teacher, counselor, coach, or after-school program director may be able to help mediate a productive discussion.

If you do find yourself talking directly to the other parent, try to do it in person rather than over the phone. Don’t begin with an angry recounting of the other child’s offenses. Set the stage for a collaborative approach by suggesting going to the playground, or walking the children to school together, to observe interactions and jointly express disapproval for any unacceptable behavior.

At school:

Many schools (sometimes as part of a statewide effort) have programs especially designed to raise awareness of bullying behavior and to help parents and teachers deal effectively with it. Check with your local school district to see if it has such a program.

Schools and parents can work effectively behind the scenes to help a child meet and make new friends via study groups or science-lab partnerships. If you are concerned about your child:

• Share with the teacher what your child has told you; describe any teasing or bullying you may have witnessed.
• Ask the teacher if she sees similar behavior at school, and enlist her help in finding ways to solve the problem.
• If she hasn’t seen any instances of teasing, ask that she keep an eye out for the behavior you described.
• If the teacher says your child is being teased, find out whether there are any things he may be doing in class to attract teasing. Ask how he responds to the teasing, and discuss helping him develop a more effective response.
• After the initial conversation, be sure to make a follow-up appointment to discuss how things are going.
• If the problem persists, or the teacher ignores your concerns, and your child starts to withdraw or not want to go to school, consider the possibility of “therapeutic intervention.” Ask to meet with the school counselor or psychologist, or request a referral to the appropriate school professional.

Dan Olweus, creator of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, defines bullying in his book,Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do:

“A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.”

This definition includes three important components:

1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

In his writings, Dr. Olweus is very clear that bullying is peer abuse that should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Today, more than thirty states have adopted laws against bullying.

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take on many forms. As part of the Olweus Bullying Questionnaire, students are asked if they have been bullied in any of these nine ways:

1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying Learn more about bullying and sexual orientation
9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet) Learn more about cyber bullying

Bullying is Not Teasing

It might be hard to tell the difference between playful teasing and bullying. Teasing usually involves two or more friends who act together in a way that seems fun to all the people involved. Often they tease each other equally, but it never involves physical or emotional abuse.

Why Students Bully

Information about bullying suggests that there are three interrelated reasons why students bully.

1. Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance.
2. Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other students.
3. Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behavior with material or psychological rewards.

By Vickie Moller       Published: November 08 2013            

Bullying has become a large issue of concern for parents and students across the country – find out what locals are doing to prevent and …

According to Bullying Statistics, about one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis; 77 percent of all students experience verbal bullying and teens in sixth through tenth grade are the most likely to be involved in activities related to bullying.

So what exactly is bullying? StopBullying.gov, a website managed by the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services defines it as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time…”

Bullying involves actions that include making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, or purposely excluding someone from a group. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In response, Long Island schools, community organizations and government officials are working to create awareness of the problem and to establish safe, supportive school environments free from intimidation and harassment.

Funded with a $25,000 grant from the Long Island Community Foundation, in 2011 Child Abuse Prevention Services, one of Long Island’s leading organizations targeting bullying prevention, spearheaded a student-led campaign to promote tolerance, end bullying, and change culture.

“School culture is the key factor that determines whether young people will be bullied or not,” said Alane Fagin, executive director of CAPS. “If culture changes, everything changes.”

CAPS worked with students at Clarke High School in East Meadow, Comsewogue High School in Port Jefferson Station, Central Islip High School and Seaford High School to create student leadership teams. Students acted out skits, created visually powerful messages and taught younger students how to stop incidents of bullying. Their efforts reached more than 9,000 peers.

Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice in October announced the implementation of “STOP Then Send,” an innovative, multi-media anti-cyber-bullying presentation designed to teach kids and parents about the dangers of cyber-bullying, sexting, Internet predators, and social-networking websites.

“New technology and social networking sites have taken harassment and intimidation to new and increasingly dangerous levels,” Rice said. “This program created by my office will not only educate students, parents, and teachers about the dangers of cyber-bullying and the Internet, but it will also send a strong message to young people that the decision to press ‘send’ can have far-reaching and devastating consequences to themselves and others.”

Dylan House and Michael Graziano are both Long Island natives and students at Quinnipiac University in Hamden, Conn. Together with seven others, they created The Long Island Coalition against Bullying, an organization established to increase awareness of bullying throughout the Long Island area. The coalition plans to host fund raising events, recruit volunteers and offer therapeutic venues for children who have experienced bullying.

“What we want to do with the money that we raise with these events is donate them to programs in elementary schools on Long Island so that we could [assist] their anti-bullying programs,” Graziano said.

Last June, Legislator Sarah Anker joined community members at the New York Families Against Bullying Second Annual Anti-Bullying Walkathon held at North Shore Heritage Park in Mount Sinai. Founded in February 2012 by concerned mothers, NYFAB is an unincorporated association that raises money to bring anti-bullying speakers and programs to Mount Sinai elementary, middle and high schools and supports youth to stand against the social pressures they face in their adolescent years.

“I am all too familiar with bullying,” said Anker. “The most important thing you can do for yourself and for others who are being bullied is to say something. You must speak up and take the power away from the bully.”

In October, students at Michael F. Stokes Elementary School in Levittown took a united stand against bullying. Both students and staff wore orange as a sign of unity; and the students, each wearing a statement of affirmation, joined together in a chain of 497 “links” measuring the length of the school building.

“I can stand up for myself, I am brave, I can be a good friend,” the students said.

In addition to efforts on Long Island to combat bullying, New York State’s Dignity for All Students Act (The Dignity Act) took effect in July 2012. The legislation is designed to provide public elementary and secondary school students statewide with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment, and bullying on school property, a school bus and/or at a school function.

Long Island high school teacher Sharon Holzman, who has a clearly-outlined open-door policy with her students regarding bullying, says she believes students have a better chance of feeling more secure in their schools since the implementation of DASA.

“Bullying is a very big issue now more than ever since bullying leaves school grounds through technology,” Holzman said.

“Without a doubt, all districts on Long Island have been making the effort to stop bullying in their schools whether with a campaign or project in school. The fact is, when a student is bullied, the learning environment is disrupted, and some students do not want to go to school because of the torment,” she added.

[Sources: Bullying Statistics, Stop Bullying.gov, Quinnipiac Chronicle, LI Community Foundation, CAPS, Nassau County DA, Michael F. Stokes Elementary School, NYS]

Photo by Eddie~S, via via Flickr

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